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Here I go again…
You know those days you just feel all alone?! Even though you are surrounded by people you love..and they love you…
I had one of those days this week. That day when the internal feeling of loneliness that rages deep inside my body, a dark empty space that comes up and tries to take me over. All-consuming and heavy.
When my thoughts are like the lyrics of this song:
Here I go again on my own
Going down the only road I’ve ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
I feel scared, but somehow okay at the same time because my subconscious knows I will survive, get through it. Yet it hurts, badly. I cry, I whimper and even rock backwards and forwards on the couch…sniffling away and eventually grabbing a tissue.
The desire to get out of this dark place is big, yet the necessity to remain there for a little while is clear to me. I need to feel it, to experience all the feelings that come and eventually float away.
Again, the ‘knowing of needing to sit with it’ is huge, I won’t remain there, but ‘feeling it’ and acknowledging everything that just hurts is like a heavy storm…cleaning me, washing away all that is not needed and leaving me with clarity on many things.
That means I can grow, become stronger, have more direction and learn more about myself each time.
I ain’t wasting no more time in this dark place once I can see the light to get out.
Proud I didn’t let this experience crush me but making it through this dark place that opens up new thought patterns within me and showed me more of the ‘me’ I hadn’t met yet.
For now it is gone, but I am sure the dark place will make a return…and then I will ‘go down the only road I’ve ever known’ again.
Want to share your song?
I would love to hear what songs inspire & motivate you!