“Woah. What?! Hang on a second, no, not me. Never!”

But it happened. I had to admit that my deep connection with Music, this amazing bond, somehow was not right anymore, it felt broken and out of reach.

After the initial shock wore off, I decided to go into reflection mode. I put on some of my favourite K-Pop songs, lay in bed in the dark, and started to ask the question ‘Why?’

• Why did I end up here?
• Why did I not notice myself slipping into this place?
• Why did I not hear the warning signs?
• Why does it feel like my relationship with Music has changed?

It became clear to me that I was in what I call ‘function mode’. This is when I do the things I have to so I can get through each day, to not involve too many emotions or spend too much energy on things that I deem as ‘not important or relevant to get me from A to B’.

My focus, outside my time working with my husband and other responsibilities, was mainly on setting up the coaching side. Getting my offer sorted out, becoming clear on my target audience, creating a lead magnet, creating content, connecting with my network again, etc.

Can you see where this is going?

Cramming in so much in only a few hours a day, no wonder I lost my mojo. No wonder I stopped listening to music for joy and entertainment as all I did was focus on my business side. 

It was time to stop this behaviour and reconnect with music in a way that is beneficial and fosters my deep connection with it again.

The first thing I did was consciously listen to songs that bring me enjoyment and pleasure. Songs that make me smile, and giggle and are fun.

Then I decided to start having short and sweet dance parties again, to move my body and not think about anything but connect with the sound, rhythm, and voices again.

I also thought I might try out these ‘reactor videos’ on YouTube to see if that would be more entertaining – it definitely made me laugh out loud a few times whilst watching an American reactor listen to songs from the 80s and 90s with German origin (written and or produced in Germany).

Then ‘Who’ by Jimin came out

But one of the biggest things that helped me find joy again in music is this song – ‘Who’ by Jimin of BTS. BTS have been a huge part of my life for over a year now and both their group as well as solo music have impacted me deeply, helped me heal, and continue to challenge, support and remind me that life is also fun and not just ‘work, challenges and the rest!’.

Hence when Jimin released his second solo album, I was excited, and this song in particular gives me a massive ‘throwback feeling’ to the late 90s with his voice and music (think of Ace of Base’s ‘It’s a Beautiful Life’). It is an upbeat song, makes me want to dance and allows me to yearn for something that I haven’t found yet…whilst enjoying the moment, enjoying his song, and enjoying music overall!

I can officially say that I am in recovery mode and finding my way back to experiencing music with joy and pleasure!