Living on the B Side with


SEASON 3 | EPISODE 70 | 28 Aug 2023

More than words: How to Use Music to Build Self-Love

How do we cultivate more self-love? How can we start to pay more attention to ourselves and give us the time and attention we need to embrace our uniqueness and accept us for who and how we are?

I started to ask myself these questions (again) after recording the interview with Barbara in episode 69. She went through a process of looking at her life and make changes, which have led her to a happier life overall – AND starting to love herself, too!

Self-love. It sounds so easy in theory to achieve this, yet most of us start off great and then feel we fail because we aren’t consistent in looking after ourselves. Or we find it super hard to even try to give ourselves what we so deeply want of others and give to others.

How can we find ways to fall in love with ourselves and continue this path, no matter what life throws at us?

I believe we need to do ‘More than Words’ and jump into action mode. When it comes to us and provide us what we need, words aren’t enough anymore. I have picked this beautiful song by Extreme as the song to accompany this episode as the lyrics so beautifully highlight the need to stop talking about what we can and should do and start taking the steps to find our love for ourselves.

During this episode I try to share my view on what self-love is, why it is important and how music can help us with this process to create awareness on our ‘self-love scale’, ways to incorporate on our journey and fill our own cup up first.

Let’s make sure we all love ourselves more deeply and passionately so we can love others equally.

I also mention a Spotify self-love playlist that you can use to remind yourself to keep working on that important part of your life. Go and give it a listen (see below as well), and please get in touch if you have more to add to this list.

The rock band Extreme’s song I refer to during this episode is ‘More than Words‘ 

”Saying “I love you”

Is not the words I want to hear from you

It’s not that I want you

Not to say, but if you only knew

How easy it would be to show me how you feel”



At the age of 17 I went to The University of New York at Morrisville where I studied musical Instrument repair. With diploma in hand, I applied for work but found that no music store wanted to hire me. So, I opened my own shop “Cole’s Woodwind and Brass” Soon after I married my high school sweetheart Mary Alice. through many serendipitous twists and turns, we raised our family with our little music shop. Today, after 45 years of working on horns, I reflect back with great appreciation for a life that has given so much. In an effort to give back I travelled to the impoverished nation of Haiti in 2016 to teach instrument repair. After returning several times, I founded Horns for Haiti Inc. in 2020, an organization that teaches band instrument repair and how to start your own music business. To date, we’ve trained dozens of musicians and music teachers how to repair and started two businesses. Billy Shop D’Haiti, Musical Instrument Repair and the Haitian Music Supply Company.

Click image below to listen to this episode on Spotify for Podcasters. 





Press the play button below to watch the video for this episode.

During this episode I chat about:
  • How can music help us with self-love (3:19)
  • The best way to start your self-love journey (8:02)
  • How to help yourself with this journey (12:10

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