Sometimes, we need to hear ourselves think things through out loud.

Not because we need someone else to have the answers we’re looking for, but because talking things out loud helps us hear them differently. We might notice a connection we hadn’t noticed before, articulate something that hasn’t quite come out right when we’ve tried to think it through alone, or finally make sense of something that’s been circling in our heads for a while with no result.

I’ve been experiencing this myself, of course, but also through my work in both music and wellbeing and the practical business world.

And that got me pondering how these two are connected in my world and the work that I do — and what this means for Living on the B Side?!

 

The value of hearing ourselves think

I am someone who enjoys listening (hello, introvert right here!). And years of having my own podcast show have certainly helped me become better at listening on my feet, asking questions and allowing a conversation to go where it needs to, rather than feeling the need to steer it or fill every silence.

So when I work with someone, I don’t really know where the conversation will take us. Sure, I might have some background information to start with, and I do have some questions in mind, but I’ve learned to leave room for what wants to emerge along the way.

Not so long ago, when I was talking through how I work with people, I came up with this cool analogy that made me laugh out loud a little: I feel I’m a bit like a tape recorder.

I listen, record or capture what’s being said and then go back over it, press play and hear it again. Often, when I revisit a conversation, I notice connections or possibilities that I couldn’t see at the time. I might spot something worth exploring a bit more, or questions might pop up that could help us get closer to the heart of the matter.

I don’t like to assume that I know what’s going on inside someone’s head and heart. I like to spend time trying to understand what they’ve shared with me, then consider what I feel is worth exploring next and share that with the other person.

One of the moments I particularly love is what I call the ‘aha!’ moment.

That’s when someone pulls together the connection between two things or realises the one thing that was hiding somewhere. When that person realises something about themselves or their situation. When they can sense a way forward beginning to take shape.

Those moments fill me with joy. I’m proud of the person for making that connection, and I’m happy to have played a part in helping them get there.

Sometimes, we don’t need someone to tell us what to think. We need a little space to hear ourselves think, to hear what matters most in that moment.

Music has always been part of the picture

Music, without a doubt, remains a hugely important part of Living on the B Side (LOTBS). It’s been at the heart of what I do for years and is part of who I am — whether through my writing, podcast or exploring how we can use music to understand ourselves and support our wellbeing.

My Music Momentum Session, for example, offers people a space to explore and play with their relationship with music and discover how they might use it differently. Perhaps there’s a sense that music could play a different role in their life, or that their relationship with music has changed. This session gives us the room and opportunity to explore that.

I love seeing someone leave a session having discovered something new about themselves or found a different way to bring music into their life.

But music isn’t always what we need or the answer we’re looking for. Not every conversation needs to involve a song or sound.

Perhaps that sounds obvious, but for me, it’s taken some time to become comfortable with what that means for my own work and what I do.

Why bring business support into LOTBS?

That’s a question I’ve been going over for a long while now.

With my background in organisation, administration and practical business support, I know I’m good at this kind of work, and I truly enjoy bringing order to things that feel overwhelming, confusing, complicated or chaotic.

And all the while I was working on the music and wellbeing side of Living on the B Side, I continued to struggle with how this kind of business support would fit alongside it. Hello to another B-side problem!

I started thinking about how I could bring my business support experience into LOTBS in a way that felt right for me. I wanted to be mindful about the kind of work I would take on, how I work with others and what I want to build at this stage of my life.

And yep, there’s the practical side to consider as well: I need to build an income, too. No point beating around the bush about that one!

Over time, and by doing a lot of talking things out loud, I realised I was looking at this from the wrong angle. I was literally trying to make the business support fit in with the music and wellbeing angle, rather than zooming out and recognising that my experience and interests are much broader than that.

Why would I ignore a significant part of who I am and what I can offer just because it looks different from what I’ve been doing with Living on the B Side so far?

The more I allowed myself to sit with it and work through it, the less sense it made to keep business support out of LOTBS.

Different work, a common thread

When someone comes to me for business support, it’s usually because they know something isn’t working. At times, there’s some clarity; other times, it’s a feeling of chaos, overwhelm and too many ‘tabs open’ to see where to start.

Maybe there are plenty of ideas to go around but no clear idea of where to start or how to turn them into action.

Often, the starting point is having space to talk through what’s been going on and what’s happening. That’s before any decisions are made about what to do. Clarity and understanding are a huge step towards deciding what to do next.

That’s where my ‘B tingly sense’ comes out to play. I want to dive in and understand the situation, explore what’s getting in the way and help the person gain clarity about what might make a difference.

After that, we can start looking at practical next steps. Depending on the situation, that might mean working through a problem together, creating a better system, organising information or putting plans into action.

And sometimes, the answer might be that they need a different kind of support altogether. That’s useful to realise, too. I don’t need to be the right person for every problem.

What matters is helping someone get a clearer picture of where they are and what might help them move forward.

This thinking has led to two of my business support offerings: Find Your Tune, a one-off session to talk something through and work out what to do next, and Find Your Rhythm, a longer partnership where we can work through challenges and turn ideas into practical action.

They’re different from my music and wellbeing sessions (Music Momentum Session), which have their own focus and purpose. But there is something familiar in the way I approach the work: listening, asking questions, exploring possibilities and helping people discover what they need.

Perhaps that’s the connection I was looking for.

Not that everything I do has to involve music, or that business support and wellbeing are interchangeable. They aren’t.

Rather, they are different ways I can use my skills, experience and interests to support people.

Making room for more of what I do

For a long time, I’ve thought about LOTBS solely through the lens of music. That makes sense, given where it started, the work I’ve done over the years and how music has shaped my whole life since I was little.

But businesses evolve. So do people. And so do I.

I’m not the same person who started the music blog back in 2016 or the person who created the podcast years ago. My work doesn’t have to remain restricted to the same boundaries simply because that’s how it began.

LOTBS is becoming a place for more than music alone. Music and wellbeing remain important, alongside reflective writing, practical business support and digital resources that people can use in their own time.

I’m still working out exactly what this will look like as it takes shape. I don’t have every detail mapped out, and I’m not going to wait until I do before taking the next step.

What I do know is that I want to build something that makes room for the different things I bring to the table, while being clear about what each offering is for and whom it can help.

Maybe that’s part of what it means to live on the B side: being willing to look beyond the familiar version of things and consider what else might be there.

Sometimes, we need to hear ourselves think before we can see a way forward.

And sometimes, in the process of helping someone else do just that, we discover something about ourselves, too.